Lonely & Strange Date

Pants – Current Mood Nancy Corsett Leggings

Shoes – Jeffrey Campbell

Hat – American Vintage

Shirt – There’s no tag & I have no idea!

Purse – Forever 21

Date Yourself

So, I live in one of what is considered the most desired places in the United States. Los Angeles, California! You’d totally think I’d have tons of friends and my life was perfect, right? Wrong! Due to my current job, which I don’t want to discuss right now (someday soon, I will), it’s hard for me to make friends! The reason it’s challenging isn’t because I’m not sociable or that I’m awkward.. it’s simply because my job is isolating. The job hardly allows me to interact with people unless I go out of my way to do so. I’ve had the same job since I graduated college in 2015 and meeting people with similar interests has been a struggle. I’ve never let my isolating job stop me from doing things I want to do though! After I got over the fear of going places alone, I began to realize how awesome it is to still do things I enjoy with and for myself.

Recently, I went to see a band called Uncle Acid & The Deadbeats at this huge venue and stood close to the front all by myself! I made a couple of friends while there too. Before I take myself out on a date, there are a few “rituals” or things I do that help me feel like I’m gonna have a good time! Basically, I romanticize everything I’m doing for myself as I would if I was being picked up or taken out for a date. Everyone’s ideal of romance is a little different but things like taking care & treating myself make me feel amazing. Do whatever works for you if you’re trying to feel more comfortable going places by yourself! Here a few of my own…

The Raven Rituals

Express Yourself

Going to any type of music show is one of my favorite things because I get to “dress up”. For some that may be stupid because going to a show is about listening to music. I feel you. However, you can’t deny that music has its own culture within itself in terms of association. That’s why so many young kids nowadays “look” punk but don’t even know who Black Flag or the Sex Pistols are! They dress for association but don’t know its origins on why punks dressed the way they did. If you do associate and actually listen to music, there’s normally a whole culture surrounding the band or genre. Being apart of culture includes looking the part unfortunately. It’s just the way it is.

There’s no harm in dressing a certain way because you want to feel associated to that group but I highly recommend you do you research beforehand. You never know what kind of expression or message you could be sending to others if you’re unaware of what you’re wearing!

Anywho, my blog usually features outfit of the days because natural lighting is the best. During the day, my looks may not be as over the top or extra as some like to call it in comparison to night looks. There’s a whole other side of my wardrobe that I don’t particularly share because I mainly wear it at night and am usually to busy livin’ to think about photos. However, my looks at night are usually black, edgy, and I most likely have a lot of skin showing. I think my night looks show my shadow side. Would you be interested in seeing more outfits of the night? Leave a comment below if so!

with love & light,

Raven

How to Self-Love

What Does Self-Love Mean to You?

Self love has a different meaning for everyone, but do you really love yourself? There’s a huge common misconception about self-love in this day and age. Society tells people to love themselves but rarely do we teach how to practice it. Self love is about caring for your mental and physical needs. To practice self-love one must be capable of understanding and responding to what their body needs on a daily basis.

It’s easy to prioritize work, school, or relationships before ourselves but there’s really no excuse.  Self neglect is ignoring body signals and not responding in a healthy manner. For example, staying up late every night and never getting enough sleep. Disobeying your body’s need for rest is a form of self neglect. Eventually the lack of sleep will impair physical needs. It could potentially take a toll on your body’s entire functionality if not cared for. After a certain amount of neglect, your health will begin to decline.

*This is when you might start hating yourself and not even know it. *

We become mentally or physically sick when we don’t consistently practice self-love. The body malfunctions can cause feelings of stress, fatigue, sadness, irritability and many other forms of discontentment.  These forms of discontentment can have damaging effects on your daily life in areas such as self-esteem, decision-making, and your physique. Understanding and nourishing your body’s daily signals will help you learn how to love (care for) yourself over time. Everyone’s methods may be different. Only you can read your body’s signals, so its best to learn what it’s communicating.

Practicing Self-Love

Self love doesn’t necessarily mean treating yourself to dessert or buying something because you deserve it. In fact, those suggested “forms of self-love” will only bring temporary feelings of fulfillment. In order to start practicing self-love correctly, it must be done in gradual steps! First figure out  and understand what your body needs. Then create a plan to practice the need on a daily basis. For example, if you’re feeling sad. How will you handle yourself when feeling sad? There might be days you fail to correctly treat yourself but its important to be patient, forgiving, and understanding with yourself in the process. Think about how you’re responding to your body’s signals and see what can be improved upon or changed. Don’t give up if you fail once when practicing responses. Small practices of self-love will lead to an overall achievement. The first step is to become aware of the body signal and understand why it’s there.

If you’re one of those people who say they hate themselves, ask yourself why. Is there something you consistently do that signals self-hatred? Make mistakes and learn to love yourself even when you feel terrible. By becoming more aware of your self, you’ll be able to recognize body signals and respond accordingly. Practicing self-love will help you feel your inner beauty as an individual. Self love will help you understand your weaknesses and strengths.

Examples of  Self-Love Practices

Procrastination of important tasks due to feelings of anxiety or being overwhelmed.

Self-Love Practice: Close your eyes. Inhale through your nose for 5 seconds and then exhale through your mouth. Repeat this until you’ve reach a level of calmness. Take your time.

Feeling tired everyday but continuously scrolling through your phone late at night.

Self-Love Practice: Try to fall asleep with your phone out of your bed and create self-discipline.

Using a substance such as cigarettes, weed, food, drinking and etc as a consistent coping mechanism.

Self-Love Practice: Chew gum, drink sparkling water, or take a walk outside and focus on nature.

Lack of ability to care for one’s hygiene, physical appearance, home environment, and etc.

Self-Love Practice: Add a new routine to your daily rituals such as making your bed every or washing a cup.

Self-Love is Inner Beauty

In order to feel beautiful, I think it’s important to know how to love yourself. For many, it’s a daily struggle of understanding. I personally think by practicing and failing we learn to understand. Learning how to heal oneself in different forms, responding to emotions through experience, and becoming aware will lead you on a path to self discovery. Beauty begins beneath the surface.  Be patient with yourself.

If you are someone who consistently practices self love,

please leave a comment on this post so that others can get a few more ideas!

Raven R.