November has been a month filled with transition. Constant motion but not too overwhelming like October previously was for me. I’m thoroughly enjoying November, except for the time change.. but what can ya do? My friend developed some of her film that we took in late summer and sent these over to me. These photos are wild because I remember going to Echo Park Rising this day and feeling extremely ugly. I didn’t want to leave my apartment because of how bad I felt about myself. It was one of those days.. but I decided to go to the festival regardless to make memories and get outside of my head. In August, I wasn’t very interested in makeup as much as I normally am. Being natural and experiencing life through that lens on a day to day basis helps keep me grounded with my raw self. There are periods of my life where I don’t wear fake hair, wear makeup, or add anything extra to my physical appearance because I simply don’t want to. I love creating and wearing different styles in clothing and makeup because its fun and expressive! However, I also think its important to take breaks from things like that. They aren’t the most important aspects of life although extremely fun!
Getting to my point, whenever I looked at these photos I realized how stupid my feelings were about feeling ugly. I cried when I saw these photos because all I could see was wasted potential in myself. Since these are on film with no edits, the realization was heart hitting. I let go of a dream because I doubted my natural beauty. My natural self is my most beautiful look and it took me awhile to embrace that! I moved to California to pursue modeling but let fear drive me into the ground. My headshots were never sent into agencies because of a variety of different reasons I made up out of fear. I’m a very confident person normally but we all have our days where we don’t like something about ourselves. Looking at these photos inspired me to want to try modeling again. You never know until you try! So, I’m gonna face my fear. I’ve got nothin to lose.
The two girls in the photos are Ashlee & Angela. These two are always there to listen & support me. I’m extremely happy the universe brought us together.
P.P.S If you’re running from fear, face it.
Until Next Time,
The weather is changing, daylight is shorter, and soon I won’t be able wear dresses & long sleeves. Nonetheless, I enjoyed this day. Happy Autumn!
From the Ashes
Hello again. I apologize for my absence as I’ve been staying in the shadows since May. Something traumatic happened and I was left to figure out how to move forward. That meant putting a halt on any of my creative endeavors. As time passed, my fire began to burn from the inside out again. So..here I am. Returning to my blog but with a different light. Prepare for a few changes my little flowers..I only hope you’ve missed me.
This outfit was inspired by my latest Netflix binge, Penny Dreadful. It’s absolutely insane that I’d never given the series a chance up until recently. Of course, I fell in love with the storyline! From the clothing, the music, the actors, and the time period the series took place was extremely refreshing and romantic for me. I have an appreciation for historic and traditional things and this show aligned with adoration. Penny Dreadful re-lit the fire I thought I’d burned out. How amazing is it that we get to live in a world where daydreams can become reality AND the past can become present through art?
Recently, I attended the Oddities Flea Market in this look. The outfit was absolutely perfect for the occasion! To be surrounded by people who flock to the dark and unusual just as much as you do is quite the out of body feeling, but a tremendously good one! That’s all for now..
Until next time,