Top – Shein

Vest – Iguana Vintage Clothing

Skirt-Amazon

Boots- I don’t remember!

Hat – American Vintage

Going back to my roots with the all black outfit in this look. To be honest, I miss having long black hair to coordinate the entirety of my usual all black style! My pink hair has definitely been fun but summer is winding down and I also want to. My birthday is in a few days and because of the age I’m turning, I’m not excited. I feel like this birthday age is probably going to be one that starts the decline of my excitement for future birthdays. Haha!  Anywho, whenever I purchased this hat I never thought in a million years I would like the way it looked on me! Whenever I wear wigs or have extensions in, hats are one of my favorite accessories to add into looks. I’m normally limited and can’t wear them with my natural curly hair. So, I was super excited to find that this fiddler’s cap fit perfectly on my head.

If I had to describe this look, it’d be a mixture of boho and rock n roll. It’s strange how different both aspects of those styles are and yet they still work so well together. Whenever we imagine Bohemian styles, we probably think of patterns, flowy skirts, and tons of color. This outfit lacks the color, but does have the classic bandana print paired with a suede bag. Those details plus the 60’s sunglasses and fringe vest are what make the outfit eclectic when paired together. This outfit is interchangeable and could be worn on a dinner date or to a music concert! I hope you all have a good summer.

 

xoxo,

Raven

SaveSave

SaveSave

SaveSave

SaveSaveSaveSave

 

 

 

Top – Dumbgood Beetlejuice Lydia Tee

Skirt- Ink Champagne Mami Tutu Skirt

Shoes- Current Mood Take A Hike Boots

Hat – I don’t remember!

Sunnies – MLC Eyewear

Bag — Black BackPack

Why I Stopped Modeling

Hello strangers, lurkers, and friends. It’s been awhile since I’ve made any photos with another photographer or did anything in regards to style. I don’t think anyones wondering why not but since we’re here.. I’ll tell ya! I stopped feeling comfortable in front of a camera. It felt as if I was forcing myself to be creative and if it feels pressured, it’s not genuine. If I create something, I want it be 100% with heart. So.. here we are. Creativity and courage snuck back up! Luckily for me, I got to work with one of the best people I’ve had the pleasure of meeting in Los Angeles. Ron’s one of my favorite photographers and anyone who gets to be his friend or work with him is extremely lucky.

As summer progresses, the pants cease to exist in my wardrobe. This outfit of the day is an ode to many things I love. From tulle ballerina 80’s skirts, to Lydia Deetz, and chunky platform boots I’d say the outfit has a hint of nostalgia with a dark twist. Having hot pink hair has made me feel extremely bubbly and vibrant which is odd, cause I’m definitely more of a”Does it come in black?” kinda gal. However, I think everyone has light and dark side to their personality and this look kind of reminds me of that!

You’ll Never Be Ready

Time’s goin by extremely fast this year and I feel as if I’ve been learning more about acceptance. What I mean by learning acceptance is you’ll never be ready for anything in life. The older you get, the more it’s about learning to work with what you have. It’s about learning to always try your best. If you did your best, that’s good enough! You have to start believing that. Acceptance of what is, will allow you to grow in ways unimaginable. You just have to try. Accepting that you’re at least trying is the only thing that matters. It’s being hopeful. Be proud of your efforts. A little bit goes a long way and is always better than nothing. Just keep making the effort. Keep going. You’ll get somewhere.

xoxo,

Raven

SaveSave

SaveSave

SaveSave

SaveSave

SaveSave

SaveSave

SaveSave

SaveSave

SaveSave

SaveSave

SaveSave

Hi.

As my blog beings to grow, the more comfortable I become with opening up to my readers personally. There’s always more to the internet persona people portray themselves as. Rarely do we share the genuine side of ourselves here. There’s nothing wrong with creating art or a persona online and it being an extension of yourself. I actually love that we can plug into this virtual world and be whoever we want for a few hours. However, outside of the internet there are real life problems we face daily but don’t typically discuss with others in this virtual reality. Should we start discussing more? Should we be more transparent?

With this post, I’m going to be very transparent and honest because I feel my experience may help others. I don’t like to talk about personal issues on the internet for various reasons however this one’s important. One reason it’s challenging for me to share personal problems on the web is because of my fear of judgement. No one likes to be judged but I can’t let that fear rule me anymore. Other people’s judgements have nothing to do with me.

While going through what I call an ‘episode’ of dealing with my PMDD, I picked up a book called “The Four Agreements” laying around my apartment during a really ugly cry. The book helped me stopped crying but it also helped me gain a new perspective. With this new insight and absence of fear, I’d like to share some of my experiences with PMDD, bring awareness to the disorder, and also what I do to cope with it.

So here goes nothin’, my name’s Raven and I suffer from PMDD..

What is PMDD?

Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD) – “..can be considered a severe form of premenstrual syndrome (PMS). Both PMS and PMDD are characterized by unpleasant physical and psychological symptoms that occur most commonly in between 12-14 days preceding the menstrual period. Physical symptoms such as bloating, breast tenderness, headaches, joint pain, food cravings, mood swings or frequent crying, panic attacks, fatigue, mood changes, irritability, and trouble focusing are among the most common symptoms. Other symptoms like anxiety and trouble sleeping have been reported. PMDD may cause severe, debilitating symptoms that interfere with a woman’s ability to function.”

PMS vs. PMDD?

Periods suck but at the end of the day I personally feel magical because I have the ability to give life. From the beginning of my diagnosis as a teenager, I was always aware that the days before getting my period something was incredibly wrong with my mind and body. While growing and learning about my body, I had two older sisters around that never complained about getting their periods or dealing with PMS. One sister had a heating pad and the other was extremely athletic in the sense she’d always combat her issues in some form of exercise. So of course, I couldn’t understand why this time of the month effected me so badly and why their remedies never helped.

There’s not too much information on what causes PMDD but “studies have shown a connection between PMDD and low levels of serotonin, a chemical in your brain that helps transmit nerve signals. Certain brain cells that use serotonin also control mood, attention, sleep, and pain. Hormonal changes may cause a decrease in serotonin, leading to PMDD symptoms”. Thanks science for not knowing why I feel psychotic before my period!! It’s all good though, I’m a monthly PMDD survivor at this point. The older I get the more I’m able to understand my symptoms and how to combat them naturally. The symptoms change each month my body is preparing for my period. It’s not always a crying dramatic fit, burst of anger, physical pain, or whatever extreme symptom. Sometimes my symptoms can be dormant or they can be heavily present I believe depending on my current self care routine including diet, exercise, and etc.

I began to question my sanity in the days leading up to my period as a teenager. I didn’t know if I should seek mental help or if I needed to go to a physical doctor. It seemed as if no one understood why I was feeling and being the way that I was. People around me kept saying, “someone must be on their period” which made me feel even more insane because I wasn’t. It’s okay to be sensitive while on your period whether your dealing with regular PMS or PMDD, your feelings are valid! It’s never an excuse to treat others poorly during PMS or PMDD but we can share with others more often to help them understand. PMDD has no rule book but according to what causes it, its all about our hormones messing up nerve signals to the brain. Those messed up nerve signals are what makes this a serious disorder. Similar to anxiety or allergen disorders, women with PMDD have no control over their brain disfunction. 

Understanding the Disorder

This lack of control can lead to disaster as I have experienced many times with PMDD. I could never understand my actions and thoughts which drove me crazy in the beginning. There are times where I feel heightened depression, lack of interest, or rage for absolutely no reason. To some that may sound like normal PMS, but to a woman with PMDD, the feelings are much more severe. For example, the other day I was laughing with one of my friends and my body’s reaction was so weird. I started crying mid laugh and it wasn’t because the joke was that level of funny.. My body just sent a signal to my brain that made me cry during a happy moment. I was aware that nothing was wrong but for some unexplained reason I was also crying and now sad. Strange, right? If possible, try to imagine not being able to control something like that while being at your job, school, or with someone you love. It’s not always easy to explain that your body is doing things you have no control over in that moment.

It’s also not always a mood shift or psychological issue that can disrupt daily life for a woman with PMDD. It can also be severe physical pain each month too. I have an issue with bloating before and during the bloody war. My stomach gets so large that it physically hurts and I’m unable to move. Women with PMS also experience bloating but I personally feel as if my stomach is going to explode based off level of pain each time. I could eat 2 cups of organic broccoli unseasoned and my stomach would still look and feel as if I was 9 months pregnant. Broccoli is healthy and good for you and typically doesn’t cause bloating. So.. once again another extreme symptom I have to combat all because my hormones and brain are not connecting properly. Realizing there’s not much a girl can do about mother nature, I sought out different treatments.

Treatments for PMDD

There are different ways to treat PMDD such as antidepressants, hormone therapy (birth control), over the counter pain relievers such as Ibuprofen,vitamin supplements and many other man made fixes. However, I’m partial to modern medicine. Medicine has always freaked me out and I’ll use it when I feel I need to. However, I try to cope with my PMDD in the most natural ways possible. Occasionally, I’ll take a pain reliever such as Midol for physical pain but most of the time my focus is on how I can deal with it naturally. If you suffer from PMDD or think you may have it, I advise consulting with a licensed health professional before seeking treatments. Everyone’s severity with PMDD is different and certain forms of treatment may work better for you.

Tips & Tricks for PMDD Symptoms

Every month my symptoms change and I have to combat each one as they come on during the luteal phase of my period. Of course, these tips can also be used to treat PMS but they’re my go to when I’m having a PMDD ‘episode’. I’ve made a little chart to show how I combat each symptom.

 

PMDD Pep Talk

We will not let this disorder ruin our lives! We know our bodies better than anyone and know that within a few days everything will return to harmony again. Our bodies may be at war with our brains but that doesn’t mean we can’t win the battle. We’re strong women and can combat any symptoms we’re having as long as we practice them. We’re going to get past the pain or drama each month, learn more about ourselves, and become stronger each time. Fuck PMDD, we got this babes!

Until Next Time,

Raven

Disclaimer: I’m not a licensed doctor or health professional. This post is strictly based off my own opinion and experience with intent to help readers make better health decisions after consulting with their health care provider.

 

Sources

https://www.medicinenet.com/premenstrual_dysphoric_disorder_pmdd/article.htm#what_are_the_symptoms_of_pmdd

https://www.webmd.com/women/pms/premenstrual-dysphoric-disorder#1-2

SaveSave

SaveSave

SaveSave

SaveSave

SaveSave

SaveSave

SaveSave

SaveSave

SaveSave

SaveSave

SaveSave

SaveSave

SaveSave

SaveSave

SaveSave

SaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSave

SaveSave

SaveSave

SaveSave

SaveSave

SaveSave

SaveSave

SaveSave

SaveSave

SaveSave

SaveSaveSaveSave

Top – Sailor Moon Printed Collar Shirt 

Shorts – Destroyed Fray Hem White Shorts

Boots – Current Mood Dark Star Boots

Cell Phone Case – Sailor Moon iPhone X Case

Can you tell for the past month I’ve been rewatching Sailor Moon? Lol! Whenever I was younger and occasionally caught Sailor Moon on tv, I never really thought about what I was watching to be honest.  It’s an amazing show because of unique entertainment and illustration but the mind blowing aspect now that I’m watching it as an adult, is that it also gives a positive influence or lesson after watching an episode. I never realized how many lessons the show actually taught and the influence it had on me as a child. Re-watching the series has made me feel more considerate and young hearted again. Not that that I’m super old, but I don’t typically watch anything animated in my free time anymore.

It’s hard to tap into our inner child as we get older. So.. this outfit was inspired by that tapping! Out of all the sailor scouts, I probably would be Sailor Mars because she’s always keeping it real with Sailor Moon. Mars is extremely independent and her element is fire which I can easily relate with. Lol! If I could makeup my own Sailor Scout, I’d be Sailor Sun and my element would have to also be fire. If you were a sailor scout, which would you be? Let me know in a comment below! Also, my advice I’d like to share is, don’t ever stop watching your favorite cartoons no matter how old you are! They’ll remind you of who you’ve always been and for some reason I find that extremely comforting. Maybe you will too. Ya never know until ya try!

 

xoxo,

Raven

 

SaveSave

SaveSave